Rescinded Red

Oh the media monkeys and their junket junkies will invite you to their plastic pantomime. Throw their invites away.

Captain Fantastic: Gerrard Held on Assault Charges

p1_gerrard_0324Merseyside police have arrested Liverpool captain Steven Gerrard as part of an assault inquiry.

The incident occurred outside the Lounge Inn restaurant and bar in Southport at 2:30 A.M.  A 34-year-old man went to the hospital with non-life threatening facial injuries.

Police detained six men, including the 28-year-old Gerrard.  Reports indicate that none of the other five men were Liverpool footballers.

Gerrard scored two goals in Sunday’s 5-1 defeat of Newcastle.

Update: The altercation may have occurred between Gerrard and a DJ who refused to allow him to play his favorite songs.  


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Headlines: Steven Gerrard is Cheap

stevengerrard_897_18082264_0_0_7435_300Steven Gerrard is a cheeseparing bastard, charging friends and family for tickets. (The Spoiler)

Here are the ten most valuable footballers in the world. (Kornheiser’s Cartel)

Ukraine may be too weak to hold Euro 2012, leaving Poland to go it alone. (Sport Business)

Cheryl Cole represented in Pop Art. (The Beautiful Game)

Elano is Brazilian, but the cornrows aren’t a good look. (Off the Post)

Filed under: Football, Soccer, , , ,

Headlines: Rafael van der Vaart Has His Priorities Straight

rafael-van-der-vaart-familyRafael van der Vaart intentionally got booked to be suspended the day of his wife’s birthday. (Dirty Tackle)

West Ham has a new sponsor, fitting for some of their players. (Off the Post)

Vancouver may drop MLS bid without public stadium funding. (MLS Rumors)

Steven Gerrard gets a tower in Dubai (The Telegraph)

Gillett may lose his Liverpool share in January (Unprofessional Foul)

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Headlines: Vieira Back to London, Arsenal?

patrick-vieira-1Patrick Vieira was spotted in London, let the rumors swirl. (The Spoiler)

Tha Carter is a soccer fan. (ESPN)

Liverpool may finally get Gabriel Heinze from Real Madrid. (Soccerlens)

Stevie G whiffs against West Ham. (Off the Post)

Henrik Larsson could supplement the Everton striker cabinet. (Soccer By Ives)

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Headlines: Things are Quite Crappy, According to Capi


William Gallas reveals Arsenal factions to the media, unwilling to go down with ship. (Football 365)

Tottenham fire scapegoat appropriately named goalkeeping coach Hans Leitert. (Unprofessional Foul)

Thierry Henry and Steven Gerrard are BFFs. (Setanta)

Man U fans are taking action against the club over ticket prices. (Independent)

The MLS Deputy Commissioner Ivan Gazidis may join Arsenal. (MLS Rumors)

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FifPro World XI: Glorified Popularity Contest

FifPro released their World XI, as voted by 57,500 players in 42 countries, who surely spent hours watching other football leagues in preparation.  Here is a break down.

GK: Iker Casillas (Real Madrid) Casillas is a solid choice.  Buffon might be better technically, but Iker achieved more, winning Euro 2008 and La Liga.

D: Sergio Ramos (Real Madrid) Ramos may be the best right back in the world.  If there is a specific right back slot, he belongs, but there isn’t.  Primarily valued for moving forward, he isn’t one of the four best “defenders” in the world.

D: Rio Ferdinand (Manchester United) Rio is an absolute manimal. His team won the Premier League and the Champions League.  Although, Vidic has a more convincing case.

D: John Terry (Chelsea) John Terry isn’t the best defender on his own team (Ricardo Carvalho).  Injuries limit him.  He’s nowhere near the player he was two to three seasons ago.  English Media Myth.

D: Carles Puyol (Barcelona) Ehh…not so much.

M: Steven Gerrard (Liverpool) Highlights distort perceptions of him.  He’s tactically inept with a high turnover right, mitigating his spectacular plays.  Liverpool and England accomplished nothing.  Not the best midfielder on his own team (Javier Mascherano).

M: Xavi (Barcelona) Xavi is a fine player.  But, he’s not of this caliber.  Marcos Senna had at least an equally compelling case for Euro 2008 best player.  If he wins that, Xavi doesn’t sniff this list.

M: Kaka (A.C. Milan) Kaka bests nearly everyone on this list, when healthy.  He did not play nearly enough last season, a horrible one for A.C. Milan, to warrant inclusion.

F: Lionel Messi (Barcelona) Might be the best player in the world.  A fair choice.

F: Fernando Torres (Liverpool) Twenty-four goals in the Premier League and scored the winner in 2008.  Probably the best pure striker in the world at this moment.

F: Cristiano Ronaldo (Manchester United) 42 goals last season.

Conclusions: Players throughout the world watched Euro 2008 and read the English media.

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Liverpool Release L4Men Fragrance

Liverpool F.C. has released an aftershave “L4men,” which was pimped by captain Steven Gerrard at the Liverpool Style Awards.

Judging by other novelty male scents, you’ll never walk alone when wearing this, but neither will you attract any ladies.

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Liverpool Impersonations

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Drop Steven Gerrard

Steven Gerrard and Frank Lampard can’t play together.  This fellow thinks England should drop Gerrard, supporting his claim on video here and here.

I agree.  Gerrard trumps Lampard in the spectacular but he’s far more tactically apt and consistent.  Given the choice, I’m totally Frank.

Not that this will ever happen, since Steven Gerrard’s fragile psyche matters more than the fate of the English national team.

Filed under: Football, Soccer, , , ,

July 2018
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