Rescinded Red

Oh the media monkeys and their junket junkies will invite you to their plastic pantomime. Throw their invites away.

Wednesday Headlines: Did Nike Make Ronaldo Choose Corinthians?

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Flamengo think Nike engineered Ronaldo’s move to Corinthians. (Goal)

Everybody Loves Beckham. (The Beautiful Game)

Wenger tells fans to expect more from Bendtner.  So he’s going to wear an all-pink wardrobe and leak Arsene’s new age handouts as well as the lineup to the opposition? (Arsenal-Mania)

Ten worst transfer fees of all time. (The Spoiler)

The Madoff scandal may have prevented the Mets’ owners from buying Newcastle (SportsbyBrooks)

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Sunday EPL Results: The Deuce Runs Loose on Chelsea

156202256_22681c61afNewcastle 1 – 5 Liverpool: Liverpool emphatically guaranteed they will be title leaders by Christmas.  How bad does your defense need to be for a team playing two holding midfielders and leading the line with Dirk Kuyt to score five goals?  That is with Shay Given’s brilliance maintaining reason.

Fulham 2 – 2 Chelsea: Clint “Deuce” Dempsey played up to his nickname, dueling Frank Lampard to a stalemate in the West London derby.  Chelsea had more chances, but did not use them.  Scolari’s men have taken just 10 of their last 21 possible points.

Blackburn 2 – 2 Manchester City: I flipped this one off with about five minutes remaining.  Oops.  Daniel Sturridge and Robinho in injury time spoiled a competent performance from Big Sam’s boys.  City are two points above the relegation zone and Blackburn are two points below.

Arsenal 1 – 0 Portsmouth: It was one-nil to the Arsenal, but there wasn’t much to sing about.  The Gunners managed just one goal against Portsmouth’s porous defense, and that was from a defender.  Far from the beautiful game, Arsenal’s current group plays with neither invention nor competence in any facet of the game.  Relegation candidates Portsmouth have lost four straight.

West Brom 2 – 0 Tottenham: Tottenham succumbed from two late goals, but West Brom’s victory over the ten-man side was deserved.  Harry Redknapp, bizarrely, questioned the ref’s competency while admitting the penalty call. 

Everton 3 – 0 Sunderland: Without a healthy striker, Everton needed goals from midfield.  Fortunately, that midfield contains Cahill, Fellaini and Mikel Arteta, scorer of two early goals in this match.  Ricky Sbragia’s deal at Sunderland is now permanent.  Unfortunately, his salubrious effect may not be.

West Ham 2 – 1 Stoke City: West Ham scored a resilient victory, coming back from an early goal.  They were aided by Stoke City, who dropped to ten after Ricardo Fuller saw red for taking a shot at his own captain, Andy Griffin.  

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Boxing Day Premier League Results

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Boxing Day is rough for all and, generally, Premier League defenders are not excepted.  With lapsed concentration get slapped haphazardly around the area, with goals raining in from every direction to the delight of spectators (See Chelsea 4 -4 Aston Villa).  This year, alas, only Manchester City and West Ham received the memo.

The Citizens stormed out of the relegation zone, beating Hull City so badly they looked as if they had met Joey Barton outside a McDonalds.  Robinho was fancy, but effective bagging a brace and imposing his flourish on an overmatched Hull defense.  The drubbing was so bad, Phil Brown refused to let Hull return to the dressing room.  Mark Hughes retrieved some of his pride after the loss to West Brom, but dousing the burner under his bottom after one match would be hasty.

West Ham won just their second Premier League victory in their last 13 matches, but it was impressive.  Carlton Cole and Craig Bellamy penetrated the casual and sloppy Portsmouth back line.  How does a team coached by Tony Adams concede nine goals in three matches?  Perhaps, they were too busy packing.

Arsenal drew Aston Villa 2-2 in the tastiest tie of the day, leaving Villa a three-point advantage for fourth place.  Martin O’Neill’s men comprehensively outplayed every Arsenal partisan on the pitch, except the goal post.  Arsenal then, inexplicably, went 2-0 up.  William Gallas gave away a legit penalty in the 65th minute, and Zat Knight, of all people, knocked in an injury-time equalizer.  Both sides could have won.  Both could have lost.  It was the fairest result.

United were big in Japan, and Carlos Tevez was just big enough to score the late winner against Stoke City.  United have scored just three goals in their past five Premier League matches, however they have not conceded and earned three 1-0 victories.  Given Liverpool and Chelsea’s inconsistency of late, Man U could be title favorites if they pick up their games in hand.

Liverpool’s Robbie Keane can be dangerous on a hot run, which he appears to have hit.  His two second-half goals in the 3-0 win against Bolton, as well as his equalizer last weekend against Arsenal have kept Liverpool on top of the table, shocking since this was their first December victory in all competitions.

The other contenders, Chelsea, earned their first home victory since Nov. 1 with their 2-0 defeat of West Brom.  Drogba received the central role, and scored his first league goal since March after three minutes.  Trim, reliable Frank scored in first-half injury time.  Chelsea put the game away.

Wigan vanquished Newcastle 2-1, with Ryan Taylor again tormenting the barcodes.  Approximately 80,000 combined people witnessed Tottenham – Fulham and Sunderland 0 – Blackburn 0.  They went home profoundly bored.

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Sunday EPL Results: Brought to You By Howard Webb


Arsenal 1 – 1 Liverpool: Contrasting styles produced an expectable stalemate.  Howard Webb, as he seemingly intended, was the belle of the ball.

West Brom 2 – 1 Manchester City: How much longer can Hughes last?  Will Kaka, Buffon and Fernando Torres handle playing in the Championship?

Newcastle 2 – 1 Tottenham: Duff’s late winner pushed Newcastle toward Europe.  Does any neutral not revel in this match being a relegation six-pointer?

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Newcastle Not So Shrewd With Owen Negotiations

michael-owen-5-31-08Newcastle want Michael Owen to stay, nixing a chance for the Champions League or more flattering environs in England.  The club brass devised a fiendish ploy to keep him, offering him a twenty-five percent pay cut.

The club offered Owen a three-year contract extension worth £80,000 per week.  His current contract pays him an estimated £105,000 per week.

Newcastle have an unstable ownership situation, an unstable manager and cannot guarantee they will remain in the Premier League next season.  Even in rosier times, Newcastle isn’t a swanky destination.

Michael Owen is no longer a £100,000 per week player.  A club likely will pay him £80,000 per week next year.  That club could be Champions League clubs, such as Liverpool and Chelsea.  It could be a brink club, such as Everton, Aston Villa or Manchester City. 

Why would he take a pay cut to fair market value to stay at Newcastle?  If anything, Newcastle should pay a premium for him to stay.

That offer is either incomprehensively stupid from Newcastle or a ruse to deceive the fans they aren’t resigned to his loss.

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Sunday EPL Results: Chelsea and Pompey Falter at Home

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Chelsea 1 – 1 West Ham: After breaking their streak, Chelsea have played nervously at home.  Bellamy put West Ham ahead.  Anelka equalized.  Carlton Cole missed two chances and West Ham withstood the late pressure.  Zola seems to have settled.

Portsmouth 0 – 3 Newcastle: Leaving Newcastle has Michael Owen feeling frisky.  Pompey played well, but impotently in the first half.  Newcastle poured in three goals in the second, raising themselves from the relegation zone.  Defensive mastermind Tony Adams’ club have allowed 13 goals in their last six matches.

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Michael Owen Will Leave Newcastle This Summer

michael-owen1Newcastle striker Michael Owen will frequent the physios of another club next season, after failing to reach a new contract.  His current deal expires in June.  He can begin negotiations with other clubs Jan. 1.

Owen’s decision doesn’t surprise, given Newcastle’s current climate of instability.

The 28-year-old has been linked with Everton and Tottenham, though a return to Liverpool might be the most intriguing.  Benitez executed a similar deal with Robbie Fowler.  Owen would have similar sentiment and be more useful.

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Saturday EPL Results: United Escape Against Sunderland

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Manchester United 1 – 0 Sunderland: Sunderland conveniently picked the match after Keane leaves for their most steely performance of the season.  United outshot Sunderland 31-3 and finally took the advantage on a late Vidic header.

Arsenal 1 – 0 Wigan: Adebayor scored early.  Arsenal hit the post a few times.  Eboue was booed off the pitch.  The Gunners nearly cocked it up, but held on for three points.  Arsenal fans will take it.

Blackburn 1 – 3 Liverpool: This was close for most of the match, but Liverpool caught fire at the end.  Can Liverpool get by on midfield goals?  Winless in their last ten, how much more patience will Blackburn have for Ince?

Bolton 0 – 2 Chelsea: A solid Chelsea victory with little inspiration.  Anelka scored against his former club.  Deco dumped in an overrated scissor kick.  Chelsea has won six straight away at Bolton, without conceding.

Hull City 2 – 1 Middlesbrough: Boro took a late lead from Tuncay, but an own goal and a David Wheater penalty handed Hull the win.  Could Hull be playing in Europe next season?

Newcastle 2 – 2 Stoke City: Michael Owen scored two in the first 24 minutes.  Newcastle squandered the lead.  Shockingly, Joe Kinnear will likely face another conduct inquiry.

Fulham 1 – 1 Manchester City: The biggest club in the world started Darius Vassell up front, and again disappointed away from home.  Jimmy Bullard scored his first league goal of the season.  Fulham look quite frisky this season.

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Saturday EPL Results: Fulham Hold Aston Villa

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Aston Villa 0 – Fulham 0: Consistency is the key to the top four.  Aston Villa showed why they have not yet finished there.  Gareth Barry missed chances, but it was an even performance from both sides.  Fulham deserved the result.

Middlesbrough 0 – Newcastle 0: This was a monotonous stalemate between two similar teams, filled with almosts and might have beens.  The mist overtaking the pitch in the second half fit the dreariness of the spectacle.

Sunderland 1 – Bolton 4: Cisse scored the first goal, but Bolton roared back with four, threatening the Sunderland goal to the end.  Sunderland won’t fire Keane, but his magic seems to be wearing.

Wigan Athletic 2 – West Brom 1: Wigan recored consecutive victories for the first time under Bruce.  Wigan went down on a Titus Bramble error, but fought back to score two.  They are finally getting the results their talent dictates.

Stoke City 1 – Hull City 1: Hull’s road warrior status continued.  They’ve earned 15 of their 23 points away from home this season.  It would have been 17, but for a dubious penalty.

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Newcastle Interim Kinnear Charged With Improper Conduct

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The FA charged Newcastle interim manager Joe Kinnear with improper conduct, after he called referee Martin Atikinson a “Mickey Mouse referee” following a 2-1 defeat at Fulham Nov. 9.

Kinnear’s outburst strongly resembles him calling a referee “Coco the Clown” before Nottingham Forest fired him.  He served the ban at the start of his interim manager term.

Both incidents involve a cartoon character.  In neither case was it the referee.

Filed under: Football, Premier League, Soccer, ,

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